Tag Archives: Seven Commandments in making your child fly

Helping your child fly: Commandment #3

I am writing a series of posts on Thom Black’s excellent book on parenting called “Born to fly”.  Commandment number 3 is this:  FOCUS ON YOUR CHILD’S INTENSE MOVEMENTS.

Black says that as parents, we must pay careful attention on our child’s strengths and abilities.  Our children have at least 5 strongest abilities that would serve as their “wings” in flying.  Black says that the primary abilities that our children have would be their wings, and their secondary abilities will serve as the feathers that would aid them in the flight.  The two should work complimentary with each other.

An interesting quote caught my attention:  “If you worry when your child’s wings don’t work well in every situation, remember… Einstein couldn’t run a four-minute mile.”

I am so interested in this because with Ria, her natural inclination to music and arts have been very evident even as a two-year old.  She was so keen to music, melody and even sang a song when she was 2: perfect notes. She is so brilliant with music.  With Roi, it is hard to tell what he is really good at.  He seem to be inclined with machines and playing lego, but you can tell he is not really patient when it comes to the hard part.  “I don’t know how to do this anymore, it is so hard…” he would comment and leaves his toys behind.  Off he goes to another toy.

Just tonight Ria asked me.  “What do you think Roi will be when he grows up?”  I said, ” I think he is going to be a singer.”  “No, I am going to be a construction worker,” he snapped.  Well… I guess I will have to keep a close watch on what he is really good at… and help him build up those wings and those feathers, to get him flying!

 

 

Helping Your child fly: Commandment#4

Thom Black’s 7 commandments on “Helping your child fly” mentions that YOU SHOULD TRUST YOUR CHILD’S WINGS.  That would be Commandment #4.

Since you have already determined your child’s strengths, you should trust in them.  Words that describe your child’s strengths would be:

CONSISTENT

REPETITIVE

STRONG

WILLFUL

This reminds me of Ria in one of our conversations tonight. “I would like to have my own camera,” she said.

Hubby and I looked at each other.  “Why is that?,” we asked.

“Just like Zoe.  She has her own camera,” she answered.

“Zoe was given a camera by her mom because she really likes to take photos.  Even before she had that camera, she borrowed her mom’s and took photos of flowers beautifully.  Her mom wanted to support her hobby so she was given that camera.”

“I’d love to take photos of flowers too,” she answered.

“Your talents might not be the same as Zoe’s.  You have a clear gift on music and it is good to develop that.  You know, it’s not good to envy what others have.  If Zoe is gifted in photography and you are gifted in music, that’s ok.. Everyone has a special talent, ” hubby went on.

In the case of photography, I really don’t think Ria is that interested in it because she has never indicated interest in it before.  It might be a budding desire, but it is not as strong and repetitive as her desire to learn violin or piano. She has such a strong desire to learn musical instruments she talks about it almost everyday.  That’s when we knew that she was really inclined to music and we could not afford not to let her take lessons.  Otherwise her talent might not be tapped and her potential in music might just go to waste.  Let’s see how she will be insistent on this photography thing.

When your child learns to use his or her wings, let her be.  There will be mistakes, there will be pains.  It is not easy peasy.  But when they soar, what joy would that be!

Helping Your child fly: Commandment #5

Commandment #5 would be “LOOK BEYOND YOUR OWN EXPECTATIONS, FRUSTRATIONS, AND DISAPPOINTMENT TO SEE WHAT YOUR CHILD IS REALLY DOING IN A PARTICULAR ACTIVITY.”

The author tells about a situation he saw one day:  a little girl coloring her coloring book.  Intently focusing on her work, she was interrupted by her mom who scolded her that she is not doing it the right way.  The colors were beyond the lines, and the sleeves of the girl on the picture was not colored right.  The mom tore the page, threw it in the garbage bin and carefully modeled “the right way to color” on the next page.

It made me reflect how many times I have done the same.  Especially with Roi–he is already 5 but his psychomotor skills  are still quite poor for his age.  He clumsily colors.

This was his card for me on mom’s day.  A winged heart!

 

There’s a funny story behind this picture.  When my hubby asked why the other sheep is red, Roi answered, “Papa, that sheep is COOKED!”  Very clever, eh?  Who would ever think of a cooked sheep while doing a coloring activity? Our boy is really something that we should understand deeply.  I honestly believe that his mind is brilliant and somewhere down there, are pairs of wings that are ready to emerge.  It’s just that right now, it is covered by his being a kid– you know? noisy, unruly, has a strong self-will, and all.